The Power of Kindness

I was exhausted after a long day and my body and mind felt heavy. I could not wait to just finish my dinner and get home for a good night’s rest. As I waited for my check at the local hotel bar, a transformational experience happened right before my eyes.

An elderly woman ran up to the bar in hysteric tears. “I LEFT MY PURSE HERE! It has my wallet, my keys, my everything! I can’t – I can’t find it!,” she choked out to the bartender. This woman was in a state of absolute panic. Her breathing was labored, she had frantically searched the bar area, and she could barely communicate a full sentence. Most people on the receiving side of this woman’s energy would likely be a little frazzled themselves. However, the bartender’s response absolutely ‘WOW’ed me.

He stayed incredibly calm and controlled. He maintained eye contact with the woman, nodded his head, and listened to every word of her worried ramble; and when she was done, he reached under the bar, revealing a lost bag. Then, he gave her a warm caring hug. The woman leaned in as the bartender consoled her, assuring her that she had no need to worry because he had found the purse and that everything was going to be okay. Although it took about 5 or 6 minutes, the once inconsolable woman finally settled into a state of calm with leveled breathing and expressed her gratitude. The bartender gave her the purse, and the woman was soon on her way.

I had never witnessed anyone handle a moment of a stranger’s crisis with such kindness and compassion. I was so moved that I sparked up a conversation with the bartender. His name was Nick, and he had been working at the hotel for many years. When I commented on how commendable it was that he went above and beyond with his care for this woman, Nick said “It’s what I would have wanted someone to do for me. She was obviously past a point of reason; any other response would not have helped either of us. Being authentically kind to her helped her and actually made me feel better too.”

I then realized that I, myself, was soaring. Just 5 minutes ago, I had been brooding from travel exhaustion, but now I felt light, open, and alive.

This incident keyed me into the transformational powers and science behind acts of kindness. Expressing random acts of kindness is proven to immediately increase oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine levels in both the receiver and also the giver. These are the very hormones that boost self-esteem, optimism and energy levels. It has even been uncovered that repeated acts of kindness can lead to increased life span and quality (Random Acts of Kindness Foundation).

What interests me most about this science is that there is a third party to consider. Not only do the receiver and giver experience physiological shifts, witnesses and others close to the act also reap the benefits by experiencing similar hormonal spikes resulting in the “helper’s high”. My experience was living proof of this phenomenon!

Often, we find ourselves on an autopilot mode that focuses our thoughts and energy internally, limiting our potential to realize acts of kindness.

Moving forward, I encourage you to recognize the multiplier effect that happens when we commit acts of kindness. We change the emotional state of the receiver, ourselves the giver, and even any unknowing witness of the act. Imagine the global effect if we, as a society, dedicated ourselves to demonstrating acts of kindness on a consistent basis, whenever opportunities present themselves.

The world would truly be a better place!